Hey Casey, "Who's the Dad?"

I'm not sure how many of you have followed the Casey Anthony saga but she is the mother of a three year old girl, Caylee, who had been missing for six months. She made no attempt to provide useful information to aid the police as they looked for her child. Recently the worst possible outcome came to pass and the little girls remains were found. Miss Anthony has exhibited a penchant for lying and did so at every opportunity during the search. Needless to say but she has been charged with the child's murder. But what really sparked an emotion was the reaction of her former fiance, Jesse Grund. He had originally been told that he was Caylee's father but once again that was another of Casey's fabrications. Both he and his family had become attached to the little girl only to be discarded like the trash when it became an inconvenient arrangement for Casey. Thank god that he took a DNA test to be sure that he was not the biological father but here was a man that was there from the beginning and was grieving like any father.

I have one request Casey, please tell the truth about who the real father is so that he can have the opportunity to say "goodbye".

Thanks all and have a great holiday!

You are NOT the Father!

"You are NOT the Father!" It is amazing the reaction that these few words can elicit. For some men the obvious reaction is joy and relief but for some it is extreme sadness, disappointment and pain. In some cases, the disappointment is not with the man but with his family members who were absolutely sure he was the father but that is not the case. Sometimes I think the most premature question is " what will you do if this is NOT your child?". How can you be expected to answer such a question when many times these men are hearing that there is a problem for the first time and haven't even had time to absorb the consequences. I think the worst situation is when people have had time to bond with the child and then learn that they have been duped or betrayed. No one ever seems to think about those people.

The pain of these people is deep and effects them mentally and physically. I know that I beat the drum for mandatory DNA testing but isn't it better for these people to know the truth at the beginning so they are aware of the situation they are getting into or is it better to wait and create a convoluted situation?

I prefer to get the pain out of the way and then make a decision. What do you think?

Have a great evening!

We're of Like Mind!

I read a blog today that expresses exactly how I feel. I was glad to see that the frustration and amazement that I feel for this subject was not only mine. I understand how the author felt and I can relate to how dirty you feel after watching such a display of stupidity.

The url for this blog is http://kittyscattitude.spaces.live.com/?_c11_BlogPart_BlogPart=blogview&_c=BlogPart&partqs=cat%3DWho's%2BMy%2BBaby's%2BDaddy%253f . I recommend that you take a moment to read it. I was especially glad that it was written by a woman because it takes the argument about gender bias out of the equation.

Some people are just dumb and selfish but it is a shame that these qualities combine to hurt someone so new to the world, the child.

Maybe we should issue a test or license for people to be able to have children, we do that for people who want to be able to drive. Would that be a trip?

I hope the children learn from the stupidity of their mother's and go on to be better people.

Got To Have Some Fun Sometimes

Personally, I view this as a serious issue but I found this skit and I found it amusing and I hope you do also.

http://minibytes.mondominishows.com/daddy/main.asp

Enjoy!

A Different Perspective

I know this is a serious subject but if you look at it from a different perspective you can find some interesting takes on this subject. I was doing some research and came across a posting by Kat Wilder that wa spretty interesting. I thought you might find it interesting so I am including the link and hope you will take a look ( http://blogs.marinij.com/katwilder/2008/06/whos_your_daddy_1.html)

I never realized that the question "who's my dad?" has so many meanings.

Well I've got to go but I wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Going to the Well Again and Again

After watching a number of episodes of these daytime talk shows that have paternity as the primary topic, the one issue that continuously stuns me is the number of women who will have multiple children with a man who already denies a child. Some of these women have two and three children and the men make some excuse for not being responsible for any of the children. What could these ladies be thinking? Could they really believe that maybe the next child will wake her mate up? I recognize that these men are irresponsible and there is no excuse for their behavior but what about these women? Aren't they just as if not more irresponsible because they already know how this story is going to play out yet they insist on having another child with these men? I recognize that one child could be the result of an indiscretion but multiple children is the result of a lack of responsibility and accountability.

You would hope that we as humans would have evolved past this type of animalistic behavior and use some sort of discretion when we decide to embark on a sexual encounter but it seems that our society is still to selfish and reckless to consider the consequences of our actions.

Maybe some day we will look at the consequences of our actions beyond the tips of our noses.

Thanks and have a great day!

Paternity Fraud

I came across an article entitled "Paternity Fraud" that was originally published on the WorldNetDaily.com website on February 18, 2006 that I think is still pertinent today.

It discusses the antiquated laws and rule applications regarding paternity or the lack thereof. One of the documented stories is about a gentleman from Maine named Geoffrey Fisher who on the one hand was judged liable for $10,000 in child support and lost his driver's license even though it was the state that established that he was "NOT" the biological father of a three year old girl.

The article warned that in their sampling up to 30% of those named as fathers were not the biological fathers and the incentive for their being named was their ability to pay child support. The problem was pervasive enough that New Hampshire as well as Califoria were conducting studies of this problem and Florida was going to enact new laws to protect men and allowing them the right to contest the paternity accusation.

I think that mandatory testing would establish all the necessary parties and afford the safeguards for not only those involved but for innocents who by circumstances could become involved in an unnecessary nightmare.

If you would like to read the original article, the url appears below.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=48871

To the author, please accept my apologies but I could not find your name to provide the appropriate credit.

Be safe not sorry!

Pick a Dad

Hi guys,

I apologize for not posting, I was ill last week but that doesn't mean I haven't been researching.

Last week, I was watching a two part episode on one of the daytime talk shows which aired on WPIX out of New York. And they always have basically the same types of stories but the one's that touch me tend to be about older children or adults who find out that they have been duped and that their dad may not be their biological father. It has been heartbreaking at times to see the desperation that these people have because they desire their father so much. What is more heartbreaking is the reaction when the person that they have grown to love is not their father.

In the segment that I watched their was a girl named Kristina whose mother told her at the age of 10 that her dad might not be her father and then her mom left her family to be with another man named Mark. The mother, Mary, contended that Mark was Kristina's real father. Kristina stayed with the first man and the rest of her family. Now at the age of 18 Kristina wanted to know the truth so they took a paternity test. It turned out that Mark was NOT her father. So much for her mother's intuition. Kristina looked so betrayed and her mom could only ramble that "I've gotta go, I've gotta go". The pain on this girl's face and the tears running down her cheeks onl made you want to shake the mother and say "HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE!"

One of my initial entries on this blog introduce a thought that maybe we should have madatory paternity testing to try and establish rights and responsibilities at the beginning and to avoid sorting these issues after these people have become so emotionally invested. At the time it was just an idea but the more I see of this situation the more I think it is not such a radical concept.

I hope that Kristina finds peace with her situation.

Talk to you again real soon!

DNA & Paternity Test Week

It felt last week like I was in DNA and paternity test overdrive. The number of episodes dedicated to the subject was incredible to me. From the man who was found to be the father of three different children with three different woman and he already had five others so that would be a total of eight children with a minimum of four women to the woman who gave her daughter away for adoption as a child and was being tested to see if this person that she did not want to be the mother of was indeed her child. Mothers turning on their sons and accusing them of fathering children and berating them in public only to find out that their sons were right and had not fathered this child. Even cousins being test to see which was the real father of a particular child.

You watch this stuff and it makes you wonder, " is there any restraint anymore?". I know that our society is a "me" and "I want it now" kind of place and the state of our economy and our financial sectors is a clear indication that we overindulge, but isn't there any area that we respect enough to at least take a moment to contemplate the consequences of our actions. Do we think about the damage this may do to the child if these actions result in a pregnancy? What legacy does behavior that results in these situations leave for our children and grandchildren? Are we such a set of spoiled brats that we really don't care about anything or anybody but ourselves all the time? I am beginning to believe that we as a society are that self absorbed. Our over indulgences come in different forms but they all point to a people that are unhappy and searching for something to make us feel better regardless of the price that must be paid. This really saddens me because if this type of behavior continues, our children and grandchildren have rough times and very little to look forward to.

I suddenly feel dirty and in need of a shower but I don't think the water can wash away this feeling.

Be well friends!

Talk to you again soon.

I never know where to start

Like the title says, "I never know where to start". A most recent episode of one of those daytime talk shows that appeared on WPIX out of New York had a new cast of characters but the situation remains the same. Is he or is he not my baby's father? In one story the husband convinced his wife to allow his best friend into their bedroom for a threesome. Then she found out she was pregnant and could not be sure who the father is. In an ironic twist, her husband was mad at her for getting pregnant even though he acknowledged that this whole mess was his idea. Amazing!!! Thank God that he turned out to be the father and not his best friend but can you imagine putting yourself in that predicament on purpose. What are people thinking!

I felt bad for a man named Jason because he had a baby with his wife named Amanda and assumed he was the father but Amanda waited months to tell him that she had cheated and that their little girl might not be his. e so desperately wanted to be the father and Amanda was worried that if he was not he would leave her even though he said he was committed to his wife and the baby. Once again, Thank God he was the father. He looked so relieved.

The one story that made me ill was about an guy named Anthony and a woman named Deltra. They had three children together and he denied all of them because he claimed they look like Spongebob Squarepants. What a jerk. It turned out that he was the father of all three. SURPRISE!! He can now be proud to have children that look like someone famous.

The more I see of this stuff the more I believe that paternity should be established immediately. I'm not real interested that someone's feelings might get hurt because I think it is better to take the pain now and not wait until it is too late. What do you think?

Over the Counter Paternity Tests

I was reading an article that there is a DNA test now available over the counter(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23814032/) . The article began by talking about how this test changed the lives of a number of people. Sales of this test kit called the Identigene kit have taken place in the states of Washington, Oregon and California. The sales were so strong in fact that Rite Aid Corporation decided to extend the offering of this product to approximately 4,300 stores located throughout 30 states. The costs for the test seem pretty reasonable as the base costs for the kit and lab processing fees are around $150.00 with options for additional testing which have their own fee schedule.

The article does go on to talk about the limited application of this type of testing in a court of law because of issues such as chain of possession and invasion of privacy. But it also makes clear that those who have used the test are not planning on using the findings in a court proceeding but are more interested in resolving questions for themselves.

Imagine living your life believing that a child is yours and later finding out that it is not or that you and your family have missed out on so many enriching experiences because you were never told that you had a child. I can only imagine the devastating effect. Fortunately for women, there is never any question but a father must rely on the honesty of the mother and I think the fact that these tests are so popular and that there are weekly daytime television talk shows dedicated to this subject shows that a person's honesty is not always reliable either.

Take a look at the article, it was very enlightening for me and I hope it will be for you as well!

Sometimes it is tough to watch.

Today's daytime talk show episode appeared on WPIX at 9am. It had the usual cast of characters and the emotions that are so raw but there were two segments that particularly touched a nerve.

The first segment was about a twenty two year old woman named Crystal. At the age of thirteen her mother revealed that one of two men could be her father. From that time, she searched and finally she was successful in locating one of the men, Dan. She had been unsuccessful in locating the other man who she called John. Dan seemed like a nice compassionate man. He understood how deeply the woman's desire to have a father was and he was hoping that he could help her end her search. He was aware of Crystal but her mother had told him he was not the father and he believed her. He now had his own family and was hoping to be able to extend them to her. To every one's disappointment he was not her father. I don't think anyone with warm blood running through their veins could not feel sad for her. It was very draining but I hope that somehow she will find the other man and once and for all know her father.

The second segment was about Tasha and Stephen. This was also exceptionally sad because he found out that he has a terminal illness and only has one year to live then shortly after hearing this devastating his fiance, Tasha, revealed that she had an affair and that their little girl might not be his. I can only imagine how he must have felt. The host asked why it was so important for Stephen to know for sure and he wanted to be sure that if it was his daughter that "she would be taken care of". He also was worried because he believed his disease was hereditary and he wanted to make sure every precaution would be taken so his daughter would not end up like him. Once again, you could not help yourself from rooting for this poor man. It was his desire to be this child's father and to spend his remaining time with his family. I felt like jumping up and high fiving someone when they read the results and he was the father but I was alone. Instead I had a warm satisfied feeling inside because I felt like amidst all the turmoil that is taking place around us that the universe got it right and that a good person got something he deserved.

I feel saddened that a subject as serious as paternity is fodder for entertainment.

I hope some day we have a solution to this problem so that people like these don't have to go through this pain.

Talk to you again soon!

I can only call this SLUTS on parade!

I watched an episode of a local daytime talk show on WPIX out of New York that was specifically women who had tested multiple men in search of their child's father. The first woman tested four other men and the results were negative each time so why was she surprised when number five didn't pan out?

The second lady, Moyisha, tested five other men and she was beside herself when her son's father was not Tommy who was lab rat number six. The way she spoke with such confidence and disrespect to Tommy's mother and sister and she didn't even apologize when her accusation proved false. I don't understand it.

Marisol was testing Efrain to see if he was the father of her son. She was a repeat guest because this was her ninth appearance trying to find the fathers of her four children. At this point she had only found one father. Efrain's test came back negative also. He was upset because he really loves the boy and said he would be the stand in father. He seems like a genuine person.

Georgetta had already tested nine men searching for the fathers of her three girls. Like Marisol she had identified one of the fathers but the other two were a mystery. She showed no emotions when it was announced that Charles was "NOT" the father.

My favorite was Simone who had her boyfriend Jason take a lie detector test because she accused him of cheating. She told him she cheated over 200 times on him and she wanted him to take a DNA test. What a pair of b*lls. Sorry to say that he was "NOT" the father. So she brought in a man named Terrone who really wanted to be the little boy's father and was really upset when his test results were negative. I guess she doesn't realize that she had sex with 200+ men so she created a a sperm pool and anybody could be responsible.

What are these ladies going to tell their children when they get older? My bigger question is who is paying for these children? I pay for my children but I sure don't want to help fund these ladies. I can understand people making a mistake but these are irresponsible people who never take into account the consequences of their actions. Let them and their families deal with this stupidity.

This makes me angry because these people continue to make the same mistake and expect a different result. I don't want to hear any garbage about class, race or age because at some point we all have to take responsibility for our actions and these ladies obviously won't.

Sorry if I'm rambling but I'm really angry.

Talk to you again soon!

Today's Episode - a little bit of everything.

Today on one of the local tv stations out of NY they had a DNA episode that had a number of different circumstances from the story about Danielle and a man named Aubrey who argued that the baby could not be his because it was too fat to Jessica and Justin who was told by a family member that Jessica had cheated and that the baby was not his. All because his family does not like her. In both cases "gentlemen you are the father!". I felt bad for a woman named Tiffany who was accused by Chris of having slept with over 20 other men. She sincerely believed it was his and denied that she had slept around. But in this case she wasn't "telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" because Chris was not the father. If this had been the old days he would have been in real trouble with no way to prove he was "innocent". But the most heart touching segment was about Kayla and Robert who were in there late teens and had been together since they were 12. She characterized him as a good attentive father who was doing his best to provide for his daughter. The news that the little girl might not be his because of an indiscretion of Kayla's had him visibly shaken. There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief from the audience when it was announced that he was the father. He was so dedicated to that little girl that you could not help but root for the outcome to be to his benefit.

The emotions that come from this situation are raw whether it is anger, disappointment or adulation all roads lead through the pain of not knowing for sure.

Sometimes it is painful to watch and sometimes your just happy that the "good guy" won one this time.

Talk to you again soon!

Questions of Culture, Family and Love lost

I noticed one thing in the discussion about the topic, "Who's my baby's daddy?" Most people associate the need to identified the correct father in order to assign financial responsibility to the partner that helped create this child. I believe we all make a common mistake and that is we forget the other issues of culture, family and lost love that would be important to the child to understand his/her roots. I think it is important to a child to understand where they come from and who their family is. I think they are entitled to experience the love of both sides of the family and have memories related to each set of family members. I may be naive but I believe that each family member has something positive to contribute to the composition of the child's personality and they should not be denied that opportunity.

I just wanted to provide a little different perspective to this topic.

Take care!

They aren't all crazy people.

Today on channel 11 on one of the daytime talk shows that is famous for airing these types of shows they had the usual segments where the mother yells and screams how this man is the father of her child and how he will have to "pay". And then the announcement that he is "NOT" the father sends her off the stage to cry in the back of the set. She never even attempts to apologize for humiliating this man on television. They also had segments where the man vehemently denies being the father and really is. In one case the man denied being he father of four children by two different women because he was 21 and he didn't believe it made sense but in the end he was the dad of all four.

The segment that most interested me was about a man a man named Rio who was engaged to Tiffany and they had a baby boy together. The problem they encountered was that he had been told by family members that in his childhood he had been given some type of medication and that a side effect was that he was made sterile. He now had his doubts. He made it clear that he wanted to be the child's father but that he needed to know for himself. His fiance felt that her word should be good enough. Another issue that put doubt in his mind was the fact that they had broken up for a time and that she was dating someone else. It became clear that he had some reasonable concerns. Well it was a great moment when he found out he was the father. He looked so sincerely happy and relieved.

That was one of those times when you are thankful to have the opportunity to watch.

Talk to you again soon!

I'm NOT the only one!

I found this entry on the web that proves I'm not alone (http://whenindoubtwearred.blogspot.com/2008/02/20-men-tested-whos-my-babys-daddy.html). There are more people out there who can't believe the situations that appear on the daytime talk shows and the people that will appear and admit to some of this nonsense publicly.

I remember the 20 men tested show also and wondered how this woman could come on television and time and again here that the test was negative. I also wondered if she realized that these episodes she was participating in are now documented and that her child would be able to view them in the future. Imagine having to have that conversation with your child that mommy slept with so many men she could not figure out which one was your daddy. I couldn't help but wonder if her search was financially motivated and that she was looking for financial help and was willing to accept so much ridicule in the hope that a payday would be at the end so it would all be worth it. Who knows!

I'm going to return to my cocoon now where it is safe and warm and this nonsense doesn't exist.

Have a great weekend!

What's up with Casey Anthony?

What's up with Casey Anthony? I've seen only some reports that have appeared on one of the evening television shows so please bear with me if my facts are not completely correct but her little three year old girl, Caylee, has been missing since June '08 and she has not provided any credible information to the investigators. On the contrary, she has consistently lied and steered the investigators into dead ends. It is my understanding that she did not name a father on the birth certificate and claims that the person who is the father died in an automobile accident as he was in transit to his daughter's birthday party. It seem that the person she named did die in an auto accident but that took place in May and her daughter's birthday is in August. She also told her former fiance that he was the father but according to the report the fiance's father noticed that she was pregnant when they met.

This seems too confusing. Everybody has a mom and a dad. It also appears that Ms. Anthony is not a reliable or trustworthy source for information. So how do we find out who the father is? Doesn't he and his family have the right to know that a member of their family is missing and to be involved in the search for the little girl if they choose?

Once again, I am not smart enough to answer those questions but when you have an unreliable source and no proof then any deceitful web can be spun and there will be a victim count to deal with.

If you have an answer, please write in because I'd like to hear other opinions and thoughts.

Thanks!

Manditory DNA Testing

Yesterday, one of the FOX affiliates out of Scranton, broadcasted one of the daytime talk shows on this very topic. I saw the depth of emotions for those who believe they know who the father of their child is as well as those who really believe they are being duped. The saddest case revolved around a girl who was now 19 and her mother revealed that the person she knew as her father might not be her biological dad. The pain on her face and the man's face could only touch your heart. That was one of the more touching and satifying segments because he was her biological father and all would be right in the world again.

This all got me thinking, should it become a law that paternity is established at the point a baby is born? Should we ask for a law that requires that a DNA test be administered at the time of birth so there is no question going forward who are the responsible parents and so the rights and responsibilities are understood by all the parties at the onset?

I'm not bright enough to answer those two questions. They seem simple but are very complicated.

If you have an opinion, please add a comment and let us know how you feel.

Thanks for taking the time to read this segment and don't be shy because you just might say what a number of other people are thinking.

Have a great weekend.

Who Are These People?

I am amazed at the number of daytime television shows that revolve around the question "who's my baby's daddy?". It is not only segments but sometimes consecutive shows. I can't believe that there is so much deceit going on. I saw an episode on one of these judge shows where a woman was positive that the father of her baby was this man. He denied that he was the father and they did an DNA test. Low and behold he was not the father. On further review the woman was living with the father who was unemployed but she was suing the other man because he had a good job and she "wanted him to be the father". But that is only one instance and I am amazed time and again when I see the number of shows dedicated to this subject.

If you have seen any interesting segments or had any experience with this subject, please write in and let us know.

Thanks!