DNA & Paternity Test Week

It felt last week like I was in DNA and paternity test overdrive. The number of episodes dedicated to the subject was incredible to me. From the man who was found to be the father of three different children with three different woman and he already had five others so that would be a total of eight children with a minimum of four women to the woman who gave her daughter away for adoption as a child and was being tested to see if this person that she did not want to be the mother of was indeed her child. Mothers turning on their sons and accusing them of fathering children and berating them in public only to find out that their sons were right and had not fathered this child. Even cousins being test to see which was the real father of a particular child.

You watch this stuff and it makes you wonder, " is there any restraint anymore?". I know that our society is a "me" and "I want it now" kind of place and the state of our economy and our financial sectors is a clear indication that we overindulge, but isn't there any area that we respect enough to at least take a moment to contemplate the consequences of our actions. Do we think about the damage this may do to the child if these actions result in a pregnancy? What legacy does behavior that results in these situations leave for our children and grandchildren? Are we such a set of spoiled brats that we really don't care about anything or anybody but ourselves all the time? I am beginning to believe that we as a society are that self absorbed. Our over indulgences come in different forms but they all point to a people that are unhappy and searching for something to make us feel better regardless of the price that must be paid. This really saddens me because if this type of behavior continues, our children and grandchildren have rough times and very little to look forward to.

I suddenly feel dirty and in need of a shower but I don't think the water can wash away this feeling.

Be well friends!

Talk to you again soon.

I never know where to start

Like the title says, "I never know where to start". A most recent episode of one of those daytime talk shows that appeared on WPIX out of New York had a new cast of characters but the situation remains the same. Is he or is he not my baby's father? In one story the husband convinced his wife to allow his best friend into their bedroom for a threesome. Then she found out she was pregnant and could not be sure who the father is. In an ironic twist, her husband was mad at her for getting pregnant even though he acknowledged that this whole mess was his idea. Amazing!!! Thank God that he turned out to be the father and not his best friend but can you imagine putting yourself in that predicament on purpose. What are people thinking!

I felt bad for a man named Jason because he had a baby with his wife named Amanda and assumed he was the father but Amanda waited months to tell him that she had cheated and that their little girl might not be his. e so desperately wanted to be the father and Amanda was worried that if he was not he would leave her even though he said he was committed to his wife and the baby. Once again, Thank God he was the father. He looked so relieved.

The one story that made me ill was about an guy named Anthony and a woman named Deltra. They had three children together and he denied all of them because he claimed they look like Spongebob Squarepants. What a jerk. It turned out that he was the father of all three. SURPRISE!! He can now be proud to have children that look like someone famous.

The more I see of this stuff the more I believe that paternity should be established immediately. I'm not real interested that someone's feelings might get hurt because I think it is better to take the pain now and not wait until it is too late. What do you think?

Over the Counter Paternity Tests

I was reading an article that there is a DNA test now available over the counter(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23814032/) . The article began by talking about how this test changed the lives of a number of people. Sales of this test kit called the Identigene kit have taken place in the states of Washington, Oregon and California. The sales were so strong in fact that Rite Aid Corporation decided to extend the offering of this product to approximately 4,300 stores located throughout 30 states. The costs for the test seem pretty reasonable as the base costs for the kit and lab processing fees are around $150.00 with options for additional testing which have their own fee schedule.

The article does go on to talk about the limited application of this type of testing in a court of law because of issues such as chain of possession and invasion of privacy. But it also makes clear that those who have used the test are not planning on using the findings in a court proceeding but are more interested in resolving questions for themselves.

Imagine living your life believing that a child is yours and later finding out that it is not or that you and your family have missed out on so many enriching experiences because you were never told that you had a child. I can only imagine the devastating effect. Fortunately for women, there is never any question but a father must rely on the honesty of the mother and I think the fact that these tests are so popular and that there are weekly daytime television talk shows dedicated to this subject shows that a person's honesty is not always reliable either.

Take a look at the article, it was very enlightening for me and I hope it will be for you as well!

Sometimes it is tough to watch.

Today's daytime talk show episode appeared on WPIX at 9am. It had the usual cast of characters and the emotions that are so raw but there were two segments that particularly touched a nerve.

The first segment was about a twenty two year old woman named Crystal. At the age of thirteen her mother revealed that one of two men could be her father. From that time, she searched and finally she was successful in locating one of the men, Dan. She had been unsuccessful in locating the other man who she called John. Dan seemed like a nice compassionate man. He understood how deeply the woman's desire to have a father was and he was hoping that he could help her end her search. He was aware of Crystal but her mother had told him he was not the father and he believed her. He now had his own family and was hoping to be able to extend them to her. To every one's disappointment he was not her father. I don't think anyone with warm blood running through their veins could not feel sad for her. It was very draining but I hope that somehow she will find the other man and once and for all know her father.

The second segment was about Tasha and Stephen. This was also exceptionally sad because he found out that he has a terminal illness and only has one year to live then shortly after hearing this devastating his fiance, Tasha, revealed that she had an affair and that their little girl might not be his. I can only imagine how he must have felt. The host asked why it was so important for Stephen to know for sure and he wanted to be sure that if it was his daughter that "she would be taken care of". He also was worried because he believed his disease was hereditary and he wanted to make sure every precaution would be taken so his daughter would not end up like him. Once again, you could not help yourself from rooting for this poor man. It was his desire to be this child's father and to spend his remaining time with his family. I felt like jumping up and high fiving someone when they read the results and he was the father but I was alone. Instead I had a warm satisfied feeling inside because I felt like amidst all the turmoil that is taking place around us that the universe got it right and that a good person got something he deserved.

I feel saddened that a subject as serious as paternity is fodder for entertainment.

I hope some day we have a solution to this problem so that people like these don't have to go through this pain.

Talk to you again soon!

I can only call this SLUTS on parade!

I watched an episode of a local daytime talk show on WPIX out of New York that was specifically women who had tested multiple men in search of their child's father. The first woman tested four other men and the results were negative each time so why was she surprised when number five didn't pan out?

The second lady, Moyisha, tested five other men and she was beside herself when her son's father was not Tommy who was lab rat number six. The way she spoke with such confidence and disrespect to Tommy's mother and sister and she didn't even apologize when her accusation proved false. I don't understand it.

Marisol was testing Efrain to see if he was the father of her son. She was a repeat guest because this was her ninth appearance trying to find the fathers of her four children. At this point she had only found one father. Efrain's test came back negative also. He was upset because he really loves the boy and said he would be the stand in father. He seems like a genuine person.

Georgetta had already tested nine men searching for the fathers of her three girls. Like Marisol she had identified one of the fathers but the other two were a mystery. She showed no emotions when it was announced that Charles was "NOT" the father.

My favorite was Simone who had her boyfriend Jason take a lie detector test because she accused him of cheating. She told him she cheated over 200 times on him and she wanted him to take a DNA test. What a pair of b*lls. Sorry to say that he was "NOT" the father. So she brought in a man named Terrone who really wanted to be the little boy's father and was really upset when his test results were negative. I guess she doesn't realize that she had sex with 200+ men so she created a a sperm pool and anybody could be responsible.

What are these ladies going to tell their children when they get older? My bigger question is who is paying for these children? I pay for my children but I sure don't want to help fund these ladies. I can understand people making a mistake but these are irresponsible people who never take into account the consequences of their actions. Let them and their families deal with this stupidity.

This makes me angry because these people continue to make the same mistake and expect a different result. I don't want to hear any garbage about class, race or age because at some point we all have to take responsibility for our actions and these ladies obviously won't.

Sorry if I'm rambling but I'm really angry.

Talk to you again soon!

Today's Episode - a little bit of everything.

Today on one of the local tv stations out of NY they had a DNA episode that had a number of different circumstances from the story about Danielle and a man named Aubrey who argued that the baby could not be his because it was too fat to Jessica and Justin who was told by a family member that Jessica had cheated and that the baby was not his. All because his family does not like her. In both cases "gentlemen you are the father!". I felt bad for a woman named Tiffany who was accused by Chris of having slept with over 20 other men. She sincerely believed it was his and denied that she had slept around. But in this case she wasn't "telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" because Chris was not the father. If this had been the old days he would have been in real trouble with no way to prove he was "innocent". But the most heart touching segment was about Kayla and Robert who were in there late teens and had been together since they were 12. She characterized him as a good attentive father who was doing his best to provide for his daughter. The news that the little girl might not be his because of an indiscretion of Kayla's had him visibly shaken. There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief from the audience when it was announced that he was the father. He was so dedicated to that little girl that you could not help but root for the outcome to be to his benefit.

The emotions that come from this situation are raw whether it is anger, disappointment or adulation all roads lead through the pain of not knowing for sure.

Sometimes it is painful to watch and sometimes your just happy that the "good guy" won one this time.

Talk to you again soon!

Questions of Culture, Family and Love lost

I noticed one thing in the discussion about the topic, "Who's my baby's daddy?" Most people associate the need to identified the correct father in order to assign financial responsibility to the partner that helped create this child. I believe we all make a common mistake and that is we forget the other issues of culture, family and lost love that would be important to the child to understand his/her roots. I think it is important to a child to understand where they come from and who their family is. I think they are entitled to experience the love of both sides of the family and have memories related to each set of family members. I may be naive but I believe that each family member has something positive to contribute to the composition of the child's personality and they should not be denied that opportunity.

I just wanted to provide a little different perspective to this topic.

Take care!