A Different Perspective

I know this is a serious subject but if you look at it from a different perspective you can find some interesting takes on this subject. I was doing some research and came across a posting by Kat Wilder that wa spretty interesting. I thought you might find it interesting so I am including the link and hope you will take a look ( http://blogs.marinij.com/katwilder/2008/06/whos_your_daddy_1.html)

I never realized that the question "who's my dad?" has so many meanings.

Well I've got to go but I wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Going to the Well Again and Again

After watching a number of episodes of these daytime talk shows that have paternity as the primary topic, the one issue that continuously stuns me is the number of women who will have multiple children with a man who already denies a child. Some of these women have two and three children and the men make some excuse for not being responsible for any of the children. What could these ladies be thinking? Could they really believe that maybe the next child will wake her mate up? I recognize that these men are irresponsible and there is no excuse for their behavior but what about these women? Aren't they just as if not more irresponsible because they already know how this story is going to play out yet they insist on having another child with these men? I recognize that one child could be the result of an indiscretion but multiple children is the result of a lack of responsibility and accountability.

You would hope that we as humans would have evolved past this type of animalistic behavior and use some sort of discretion when we decide to embark on a sexual encounter but it seems that our society is still to selfish and reckless to consider the consequences of our actions.

Maybe some day we will look at the consequences of our actions beyond the tips of our noses.

Thanks and have a great day!

Paternity Fraud

I came across an article entitled "Paternity Fraud" that was originally published on the WorldNetDaily.com website on February 18, 2006 that I think is still pertinent today.

It discusses the antiquated laws and rule applications regarding paternity or the lack thereof. One of the documented stories is about a gentleman from Maine named Geoffrey Fisher who on the one hand was judged liable for $10,000 in child support and lost his driver's license even though it was the state that established that he was "NOT" the biological father of a three year old girl.

The article warned that in their sampling up to 30% of those named as fathers were not the biological fathers and the incentive for their being named was their ability to pay child support. The problem was pervasive enough that New Hampshire as well as Califoria were conducting studies of this problem and Florida was going to enact new laws to protect men and allowing them the right to contest the paternity accusation.

I think that mandatory testing would establish all the necessary parties and afford the safeguards for not only those involved but for innocents who by circumstances could become involved in an unnecessary nightmare.

If you would like to read the original article, the url appears below.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=48871

To the author, please accept my apologies but I could not find your name to provide the appropriate credit.

Be safe not sorry!

Pick a Dad

Hi guys,

I apologize for not posting, I was ill last week but that doesn't mean I haven't been researching.

Last week, I was watching a two part episode on one of the daytime talk shows which aired on WPIX out of New York. And they always have basically the same types of stories but the one's that touch me tend to be about older children or adults who find out that they have been duped and that their dad may not be their biological father. It has been heartbreaking at times to see the desperation that these people have because they desire their father so much. What is more heartbreaking is the reaction when the person that they have grown to love is not their father.

In the segment that I watched their was a girl named Kristina whose mother told her at the age of 10 that her dad might not be her father and then her mom left her family to be with another man named Mark. The mother, Mary, contended that Mark was Kristina's real father. Kristina stayed with the first man and the rest of her family. Now at the age of 18 Kristina wanted to know the truth so they took a paternity test. It turned out that Mark was NOT her father. So much for her mother's intuition. Kristina looked so betrayed and her mom could only ramble that "I've gotta go, I've gotta go". The pain on this girl's face and the tears running down her cheeks onl made you want to shake the mother and say "HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE!"

One of my initial entries on this blog introduce a thought that maybe we should have madatory paternity testing to try and establish rights and responsibilities at the beginning and to avoid sorting these issues after these people have become so emotionally invested. At the time it was just an idea but the more I see of this situation the more I think it is not such a radical concept.

I hope that Kristina finds peace with her situation.

Talk to you again real soon!

DNA & Paternity Test Week

It felt last week like I was in DNA and paternity test overdrive. The number of episodes dedicated to the subject was incredible to me. From the man who was found to be the father of three different children with three different woman and he already had five others so that would be a total of eight children with a minimum of four women to the woman who gave her daughter away for adoption as a child and was being tested to see if this person that she did not want to be the mother of was indeed her child. Mothers turning on their sons and accusing them of fathering children and berating them in public only to find out that their sons were right and had not fathered this child. Even cousins being test to see which was the real father of a particular child.

You watch this stuff and it makes you wonder, " is there any restraint anymore?". I know that our society is a "me" and "I want it now" kind of place and the state of our economy and our financial sectors is a clear indication that we overindulge, but isn't there any area that we respect enough to at least take a moment to contemplate the consequences of our actions. Do we think about the damage this may do to the child if these actions result in a pregnancy? What legacy does behavior that results in these situations leave for our children and grandchildren? Are we such a set of spoiled brats that we really don't care about anything or anybody but ourselves all the time? I am beginning to believe that we as a society are that self absorbed. Our over indulgences come in different forms but they all point to a people that are unhappy and searching for something to make us feel better regardless of the price that must be paid. This really saddens me because if this type of behavior continues, our children and grandchildren have rough times and very little to look forward to.

I suddenly feel dirty and in need of a shower but I don't think the water can wash away this feeling.

Be well friends!

Talk to you again soon.

I never know where to start

Like the title says, "I never know where to start". A most recent episode of one of those daytime talk shows that appeared on WPIX out of New York had a new cast of characters but the situation remains the same. Is he or is he not my baby's father? In one story the husband convinced his wife to allow his best friend into their bedroom for a threesome. Then she found out she was pregnant and could not be sure who the father is. In an ironic twist, her husband was mad at her for getting pregnant even though he acknowledged that this whole mess was his idea. Amazing!!! Thank God that he turned out to be the father and not his best friend but can you imagine putting yourself in that predicament on purpose. What are people thinking!

I felt bad for a man named Jason because he had a baby with his wife named Amanda and assumed he was the father but Amanda waited months to tell him that she had cheated and that their little girl might not be his. e so desperately wanted to be the father and Amanda was worried that if he was not he would leave her even though he said he was committed to his wife and the baby. Once again, Thank God he was the father. He looked so relieved.

The one story that made me ill was about an guy named Anthony and a woman named Deltra. They had three children together and he denied all of them because he claimed they look like Spongebob Squarepants. What a jerk. It turned out that he was the father of all three. SURPRISE!! He can now be proud to have children that look like someone famous.

The more I see of this stuff the more I believe that paternity should be established immediately. I'm not real interested that someone's feelings might get hurt because I think it is better to take the pain now and not wait until it is too late. What do you think?

Over the Counter Paternity Tests

I was reading an article that there is a DNA test now available over the counter(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23814032/) . The article began by talking about how this test changed the lives of a number of people. Sales of this test kit called the Identigene kit have taken place in the states of Washington, Oregon and California. The sales were so strong in fact that Rite Aid Corporation decided to extend the offering of this product to approximately 4,300 stores located throughout 30 states. The costs for the test seem pretty reasonable as the base costs for the kit and lab processing fees are around $150.00 with options for additional testing which have their own fee schedule.

The article does go on to talk about the limited application of this type of testing in a court of law because of issues such as chain of possession and invasion of privacy. But it also makes clear that those who have used the test are not planning on using the findings in a court proceeding but are more interested in resolving questions for themselves.

Imagine living your life believing that a child is yours and later finding out that it is not or that you and your family have missed out on so many enriching experiences because you were never told that you had a child. I can only imagine the devastating effect. Fortunately for women, there is never any question but a father must rely on the honesty of the mother and I think the fact that these tests are so popular and that there are weekly daytime television talk shows dedicated to this subject shows that a person's honesty is not always reliable either.

Take a look at the article, it was very enlightening for me and I hope it will be for you as well!